10 Day Marriage Challenge

Over dinner Saturday night, Jordan and I were talking about things we have learned either about each other or ourselves since we tied the knot four months ago. The one thing we both brought up was how much more intentional we have to be in order to spend time growing spiritually together. Prior to marriage, I think we did a pretty good job of actively asking each other what we were studying, learning, or how we were growing. It would spark really great conversations which in a lot of ways, I believe, prepared us for all that marriage involves. A few months in, and we have realized that just living under the same roof does not mean automatic Jesus time together.

It takes planning, setting aside distraction-free time in our schedules, and really a preparation of the heart. After having this conversation we decided to talk about some prayer requests we had both individually and as a couple. We then took 10 minutes or so to just pray those things out and lift them up to the Lord. It was sweet and so intimate. It was something that we both immediately said “lets do this every single day.” Sure, we are regular when it comes to praying right before dinner, but it is usually quick because we are hungry and aren’t in the right mindset. We both crave rich prayer time together and both have seen the fruit of that in our relationship.

My sister posted this challenge on her counseling website a few months ago {she obtained it from The Vanilla Tulip} and I remember loving that idea, but never actually putting it into fruition. So I am hoping that very soon here we will begin to do it. Would you please join us in this??


The assignment is to spend an hour or so going over your nightly Top 10 (listed below) at a scheduled time, preferably when the house is quiet and you are winding down for the night. You can either write your answers down right before you meet or throughout the day.  But they need to be completed before the scheduled time. You may think your spouse already knows these things about you (or visa versa), but do it anyway because the answers can be both surprising and humbling!

Day 1 – What are your Top 10 favorite characteristics about one another? Why? (wife writes 10 for her husband. And the husband will write 10 for his wife)

Day 2 – What are your Top 10 favorite characteristics about yourself? Why? (Wife writes about herself. Husband writes about himself)

Day 3 – Where are 10 places you have never been to but would love to go? Why? (again, these are individual lists.  You each write your own)

Day 4 – What are 10 of your biggest pet peeves? Why? (in general, not necessarily with one another)

Day 5 – What are your 10 things you hope your kids learn from you? Why? (If you don’t have kids, discuss 10 things you want your nieces/nephews or other children who you know to learn from you).

Day 6 – If you won $100k tomorrow… what 10 things would you buy yourself? Why? (you cannot save it or spend it on anyone else. You MUST spend it all on yourself)

Day 7 – What are 10 things that you would like to improve on personally? Why?

Day 8 – If you could invite 10 people to dinner, alive or dead, who would they be? Why?

Day 9 – What are 10 things that your spouse can do for you, or does for you, that you really value/appreciate?

Day 10 – ***Do this one over a date-night dinner***  What 10 things do you want to accomplish in the next year? Do this list together and once you are done talking about it and putting the list together, put it in an envelope and store it.  Then make a point to open it in a year!

I can’t wait to learn more about my husband and of course dream about places we want to visit :). Thanks sister for posting this originally!

Abby Dawn


5 thoughts on “10 Day Marriage Challenge

    1. Thanks Sarah!! My husband & I started it on Tuesday and really enjoyed the conversation. I am anxious to hear how you guys enjoy it 🙂

    1. You are welcome! I can’t take the credit for coming up with it but my husband & I sure have enjoyed doing it so far! Hope it goes great for you two 🙂

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