Top of the mornin’ to ya!
I hope you are having a great week so far. I wanted to stop by quickly and post some thoughts I put together while on yesterday’s lunch break. As we approach the 2-month mark, conversations have been focused on all things wedding (with some apartment hunting, church group perusing, and other miscellaneous things in there). I completely understand how this big event could absolutely consume somebody and cause so much angst and stress, because we all want it to be “perfect.”
Through the process, I have learned a lot about myself. I have discovered that although I do want it to be comfortable, enjoyable, and fun for our guests, at the end of the day, as long as I marry my best friend, I will be happy. I am so thankful that my personality type is one that does not get too worked up about details; however because of this, at times I feel like I am not doing enough for the wedding.
The following is a look at Jordan and I’s approach to planning our wedding. He has been a HUGE help. Both in helping me make decisions, and also just maintaining a good perspective along the way. I am incredibly thankful for his consistent nature, ability to make quick, wise decisions, and supporting me along the way.
1. Focus on each other first, details second. The wedding day is of course a big deal, but to me, he and our relationship is much more important. Do not let the details cause arguments. Looking back, you will realize it just wasn’t worth it.
2. Do not make any decisions for the sake of pleasing other people’s expectations. Do what you want and spend the money that is within your means. If they come to judge the wedding, then they do not truly care about you as people.
3. Head to your vendor, dress shop, etc and get an initial quote. Now try to cut that number in half by shopping around for a better deal. I have been able to do that for everything except the reception. Oh, and Jordan’s big thing is to negotiate. For those of you that know him, this does not surprise you. I let him do all of that :).
4. Figure out what you and your fiance value and then make decisions around that. For Jord and I, we value a Christ-centered wedding filled with lots of love and fun. We also wanted to provide a good meal to our guests because we enjoy food. Fingers crossed, it tastes great! Everything else will be nice, but not over-the-top. It will be us, and that is all that matters.
5. Have a vision, but be flexible. I have learned that it helps to have a general idea of what you want for most things, while understanding that you may need to bend a little.
6. DIY! We all have a little creativity in us, so if you have the time to create certain things in your wedding, go for it! Everyone loves a personal touch.
7. Ask people for help. Delegate as much as possible because your loved ones genuinely want to help take a load off of you. This requires letting go of some control and trusting them with the task.
8. Set a clear budget for every little thing . Down to your rehearsal dinner jewelry. I am not as good at this as Jordan is, but I am so thankful that he is. It makes spending the money so much easier knowing that we have the cash and that it is coming out of a specific place.
9. Take advantage of Etsy!! I worked with one lady to create my invites and another to design some gifts for my bridesmaids. Both were SO good at communicating and have done an incredible job. I can’t wait to see the invites when they come my way. Let me know if you would like to know the name of the shop who did the invites.
10. Work on your relationship!! Forget about the wedding planning for a couple nights and go do something fun!
11. Try not to compare your wedding to other people’s. This one is an important reminder for us as we will be attending 4 different weddings before ours. I know they will all be so beautiful, but to me, that has a lot to do with the quality of people getting married.
12. Realize that your fiance most likely just doesn’t care what color things are or what your invites look like. He still loves you. Certain things just need to be taken care of by the bride.
13. Don’t worry about a strict diet. If you are comfortable and confident with how you look already, just maintain. You don’t want to look like a different person walking down the aisle. Life is way to short not to eat chocolate and ice cream. Or the lemon-y, angel food cake goodness your boss brings to work :). However I would recommend working out to release some of those endorphins and to stay fit.
14. Pray through decisions. No decision is too minor or too major to pray over.
15. Don’t become too busy or occupied with other things that you forget to tell people “thank you” for all of their help. I know I am so incredibly thankful for the help from both of our families. I really appreciate the people who remind me to enjoy this process, because it really is so much fun.
Sending my love your way.