Wisdom in Words

Good Morning and Happy Friday!

We love fireworks!!
We love fireworks!!

I hope you had a fun-filled 4th of July and an even better week thus far. If you are on a 4-day weekend, enjoy it! It is back to work today for this girl, however knowing it is Friday and looking forward to the Rangers game tonight gives me a lot to look forward to.

I was privileged to hear an awesome sermon this past Sunday at Faithbridge Church in Spring, TX and I have been thinking about it ever since. Pastor Ben Stuart was a guest speaker this particular Sunday and he was incredible. I really took a lot away from what he had to say and decided I wanted to share it with you.

We use our words every single day. In fact, as I have reflected on the sermon and write this post, I realize I take my words for granted. I speak without even thinking through what I am going to say sometimes. I posted this {Gracious words are sweetness to the body and health for the soul} on my Facebook a couple days ago because there is so much truth in it.

Words hold such power and learning to be wise in what we say is extremely important. Wisdom is the ability to navigate life well, so from a words perspective, there are three facets that Ben discussed which help us become wise speakers.

  1. The right words
  2. The right time
  3. Spoken in the right way

  {Speaking the TRUTH}

Our mouth has the ability to speak life or death. The things we say to one another can either encourage them, or discourage them. We most likely were given the job we have because of the words we spoke during the interview. The relationships we are part of currently are the result of our conversations with that person. Hurtful words from the past can stick with people through adulthood and effect the way they view themselves. On the other hand, one loving conversation could change somebody’s life.

A good friend is somebody who will point out a reality to you and empower you to change it for good. Love is risking the awkward to give the honest which helps them make better decisions for their life. By holding the truth from a friend or person you are in a relationship with creates a distance. It may be more convenient to skirt away from the truth, however God HATES that. In essence we are lying to avoid a potentially difficult conversation.

<Insert selfishness>. We don’t want to risk our friend, coworker, significant other, etc. looking at us a certain way, which in all actuality is saying I love myself more than you. Truth empowers us to change and improve on certain aspects of our life.

{Speaking at the right time}

Wisdom is not only the right words or truth, but rather truth spoken at the right time in the right way. I have learned how important tone is while conversing with somebody. Even if what I am saying is genuinely not trying to hurt them, if my tone is tired or annoyed maybe even from a long day, they can perceive my words wrong.  For example, don’t confront somebody about an issue when they first walk in the door after a long day. Or for the non-morning people, maybe back off in the morning and catch them at a better time.

Another really great point Ben made was that there is a time to mourn. Sometimes it is okay to let somebody work through a difficult experience until they are ready to talk about it. Sometimes the best time for you, is not the best time for them. Allow yourself take craft your words in a loving way.

A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his own opinion. (Proverbs 18:2)

You might be angry for just reasons, but just going off without thinking about the impact you are making is foolish.

Another great piece of advice is to have a friendship moment before business moment. Leave the issue in the bag, give it some time, and then casually bring it up. They are much more apt to do whatever you need because you separated the two things. Are they ready to receive it because they feel loved and valued?

{Speaking in the right way}

A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. (Proverbs 15:1)

Ben talked about the Confrontation Sandwich which is exactly like the phrase sounds. You compliment the person (build them up), confront them with humility and gentleness, and then compliment them again. We must always be trying to help the person, not win an argument.

I have learned that the quickest way to hurt a friend or Jordan is by mocking them in public which is the ultimate sign of disrespect.  We are their protector, and by shaming them in public, we expose them. Words are vital to our sense of self-worth.

The tongue of the righteous is choice silver, but the heart of the wicked is of little value. (Proverbs 10:20)

So how do we get the right words? The heart must be in the right place. It is out of the overflow of the heart that the mouth speaks. A life giving heart causes a life giving mouth. We can’t give ourselves a new heart, but we can seek somebody who can renew our heart. A new heart comes from the grace, forgiveness, and adoption that comes from Jesus.

Hurtful words come from insecurity. Resting in our one true source of security will allow for our hearts to be a fountain of love and encouragement. God sees our flaws but doesn’t wave his finger at us. He loves us unconditionally and forgives us constantly. The Holy Spirit which he bestows upon us when we believe, allows for our hearts to be renewed day in and day out.

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My challenge to myself and to you is to think about our words a little bit more and to focus on speaking with love and using words which glorify the Lord who is our source of security, faith, and hope.

Have a blessed weekend!

Abby Dawn

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